Stood inside the magical place normal people call a clothing store you hold in your hands an item which will make you ask the hardest question you will ever face in your life and unfortunately one that will always re occur. Do I need these shoes? Yes of course you need these shoes, these shoes will make you look and feel better, however a very small number pops into your head which you realise is the pathetic excuse of your bank balance. No matter how many times you find yourself sighing at the cash machine at the small number that never will stay high for very long you decide to cheer yourself up and go shopping. With the intention to only look and not touch or buy. This is where we find ourselves looking over endless rails of clothing all screaming and shouting at you buy me. Buy me. BUY ME! And as predictable as that chick flick film you know the ending before it’s even begun. You will leave with something and there will be smiles all round.
So as you stand there looking at these shoes hoping someone will come along and tell you to buy them, so you feel it was their fault later and not yours. No one does and you are left with that question alone. But you consider pondering for ages sometimes knowing that it doesn’t really matter what happens you will be buying them, you just have to pretend you thought about it so it doesn’t seem as if you made a rash decision. However when buying these shoes you know it will mean having to stay in as you can no longer afford to go out and the fridge will stay empty and you will live on beans and toast for every meal this week. However what I never realised before was that the price never is really that much of an issue in the pros and cons of 'Should I get these shoes?' The price is only a small factor... the big question is do I really need them? This has a simple answer, yes. But if it was down to just the price nearly all the time it will be no.
Once we have finally got over the ordeal that is buying the new shoes and the question 'did we really need them?' we then feel liberated, joy rushes through your body, nothing can stop you, and nothing will stop you, shoes for everyone.
Then you squeeze through the door with all 10 bags of bulging shopping already struggling to fit in the door let alone your wardrobe. This is another task you know you will have to face. Your feet have now started to hurt and all you want to do is sit down. But this is never the way. Whether you are younger or older someone will be there to tell you off for what you have done. When you were little your parents would stand in the hallway as you tried to sneak in the bags, What are they? I thought you had no money, busted. Boyfriends what are they? I thought you had no money, busted, If you live alone, conscience what are they? I thought you had no money. Busted. Husbands what are they? I thought we had no money, yes you guessed it BUSTED. Now after trying to find a reason why you need these shoes desperately you think to yourself, actually do I need a reason? Yet you would never dare say it as that would lead to a further argument of why you got them in the first place. But always have answers prepared before you come home because they will ask if they fit well, are they waterproof , how much did they cost you and will they last which to all of these you must say yes of course but who cares, they look pretty and really that’s all that matters. But what they will never get into their heads is the calling of that clothing store that draws you in and says hey try me on I will make you look wonderful.
Then finally after dragging each bag upstairs you look at the floor covered in new clothes. Often when trying them on in the mirror it looks different to the shop mirrors and you wonder 'oh gosh why did I buy that?' However many hours were spent in the mirrors it always needs to be tried on once more when you get home. It’s just the rule that your partner will never understand as they stand there saying to everything 'yes it looks wonderful'.
But as you lay there in your bed after the lights have turned off and you stare down at the cardboard box that holds the delight of new shoes you can wear tomorrow, you smile to yourself knowing yes these shoes will be what gets you through the day and yes, you may only wear them a few times and they will give you a blister and you will probably get bored and move on; but for now the answer to that question every time it comes up should always be.
Yes I really do need these shoes.
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All text and imagery copyright Michael Sweeney Photography.
